I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
