My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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