But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
