Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize