I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize