You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
