The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
