he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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