So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
