Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
