there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
