I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Are we still banned from the library?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
