You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
no, he came in my armpit
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
