May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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