I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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