Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
