He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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