Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't turn off my feet"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
