Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
