dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
