Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is Oprah even human
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize