i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
