I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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