Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
