UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
barbara walters just said penis...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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