Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he thought i was a dude.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
