Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
