I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
