Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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