Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He kissed a someone with a penis
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
