last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize