Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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