Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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