I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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