What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
