yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
