Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i came on her dog
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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