Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm really into asian looking animals
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
