So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
