If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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