I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
