new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
