it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She is in my trunk
I'm eating all of the evidence.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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