And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
