Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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