he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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