About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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