Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
