you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
