How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
