this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
