I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
