sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
