I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
