but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
