You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
