Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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